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M is for Merger



Guest author and contributor Evan Anderson knows his way around the financial world. As a gifted analycist guy who does financial stuff he’s way too creative and smart to be toiling away behind excel spreadsheets but according to Fly Ty “You Gotta Make That Paper Baby”.

And indeed he does make that paper, baby, but he’s pretty good at other stuff. Here’s a book he wrote. Well, the cover anyway.

If you can’t read it, download the file. No virus, I promise. It’s worth a read. Give it to your frienzs.


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Green M&M’s: Do they make you horny?…Yeah…
text by M.O.Shea. 

I was raised by a family comprised of mainly seamen, showmen, and salesmen so it should come as no surprise to anyone that I embody three very distinct traits of all three – a potty mouth, dropping the gs from my verbs, and a penchant for superstition and lore. Phrases such as red sky at night, sailor’s delight; itchy nose, you’ll kiss a fool; leave the lid off the kettle, company will call, and of course, green M&M’s, your horny friend, were recited around the house on a daily basis.

Now that I am an adult (I pay my own bills and exercise my right to not vote) I’m superstition bustin’ the phrases that raised me into the cynical, Reality TV watchin’ woman I am today. Obviously a red sky at night is a delight for all people (except for those living in Kings Landing – bust), an itchy nose precedes every kiss from my husband (burst), and I lost the lid to the kettle so the Mormons always come a knockin’ (boom). But what of those green M&M’s? Are they really your horny friend?

I began debunking this lore by first embarking on a magical trip to the Mars M&Ms website where I was prompted to enter my date of birth. At first I thought I “accidentally” logged onto Boone Farm’s again but no, it is so they can ensure they are marketing the brand responsibly*. After receiving an email from my friend – haha grumpy cat – and momentarily forgetting about the task at hand, I headed to the store** to purchase a plethora of M&Ms – pretzel, mint, dark, milk, almond. I ate them all, paying close attention to my feelings with every swallow of the little colored nuggets of love, but especially the vert ones. I found that the only M&Ms that made me even just the tad bit randy had a nut-family filling – peanut butter, peanut, coconut, these nuts, bustanut. In conclusion, my study found that it is the word association and not the color of the candy shell that make this opsomaniac*** 50 shades of hornay.

Nut. Busted.

*M&M’ Consumer alert you must be this old to ride this ride. Also, Raspberry filled M&M’s…gross.
**This lore was busted through pure conjecture. Candy isn’t Weight Watchers friendly. Did you know a bag of peanut M&M’s is 7 points? That is a 12-ounce double IPA, or 8-ounces of wine, or two Taco Beezy Bean Burritos. My mother did not raise a fool.
*** n. a person with an extreme enthusiasm for a particular food (big words dot com!)

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